BARISTA EDITOR DES, THE NEW COFFEE KING

 

Can't start the day without my short black..

Can’t start the day without my short black.

You know what? Lately my editing hasn’t been going so well, because I missed a few errors in one of Pauline’s articles. I had to award the red tomato  trophy to myself, which wasn’t exactly  pleasant!

Oh the humiliation!

Oh the humiliation!

The pay isn’t much good either. Hardly enough to keep a person in smokes. Not that  I DO smoke, but if I wanted to.  I’m still working on my unauthorized biography of a certain writer I know well, but that’s a long-term project.

A NEW DIRECTION

So anyway,  I have been considering a new career….. in the wonderful  world  of  COFFEE.  Dr Bob has agreed to teach me, because he is a bit of an expert. His coffee machine is nearly as big as our  little house! He told me that  the  most important thing is to have freshly roasted coffee beans, and that  it’s best to grind them up yourself.  Plus….you have to keep the air out  of the packet. Oxygen is the enemy of coffee, as smoking  is the enemy of health (an old, wise proverb from the Blue  Mountains). So whether it’s beans or already ground up coffee, keep that packet sealed.   Quite complicated eh?

But for me, the hardest bit is making pictures in the froth (crema it’s called)   People expect bloomin’ works of art, even in our  little  village!  A bear will be my signature image (natch!) , when I master it. Having trouble with the ears at the mo.

I found an old shingle to hang up….. going to pretend I’m a bit French. Well I just  might be cherie, my ancestry is mired in mystery.

My shingle ready to put up on the caravan. Ooh la la!

My shingle ready to put up. Ooh la la!

 

Adorable, if I say so myself!

Adorable, if I say so myself!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dr Bob's Ascaco Coffee Machine

Dr Bob’s Ascaso Coffee Machine and grinder.

 

Pauline has never worked out  how to use the coffee machine.  Well  she did try once, but  there was a disaster and  we had to clean  coffee grounds off the ceiling and between the floorboards.  When  Dr Bob is away she  makes tea, or takes her visitors up to the village cafes.  How pathetic is that? Bwahaha.  But I digress.

AND A BLOOMIN' TEA BAG AT THAT!

AND A BLOOMIN’ TEA BAG AT THAT!

After my expertise  reaches an acceptable level  Dr Bob is going to buy me a mobile coffee shop. As you can see in the picture below, it has a little home for me as well,  which is good because I will be going on the road. It will be a big adventure.  My girlfriend  Milly would like to come too,  but she would be a distraction.  Pauline seems quite pleased about the whole idea. I thought she would miss me dreadfully  but…..

My prospective coffee caravan.

My prospective coffee caravan.

I may not know how to make the perfect double shot, extra hot, skinny latte just  yet, but I have consumed coffee all around the world and I’m an aficionado  just like Dr Bob!  That really just  means we are coffee snobs, hahaha.

After a long flight,  one cup of coffee is just not enough.

After a long flight, one cup of coffee is just not enough.

So how do you think I’ll get on in my new profession? Will I be able to throw away my red editor’s pen??  Let me know what you think.

8 Comments
  1. Des — do you know you can roast your own coffee beans in an ordinary hot air pop corn machine. You should try it sometime — they are wonderful that way and might give your business an extra edge. Hardest part is finding a place that will sell you green coffee beans.

    • Pauline

      Oh wow, that’s a good idea Susan. And then I could sell popcorn as well. Des. xxx

      • coffee flavored popcorn would be the best! The you can make Latte flavored popcorn and Carmel coffee flavored. Think of the possibilities.

        • Pauline

          The mind boggles. Maybe even eucalyptus popcorn. I’ll be a zillionaire Susan. Des xx

  2. A good barista is hard to find, so if you can make the perfect coffee, I’m sure your little van will do really well.

    • Pauline

      Thank you for your encouragement Melissa. I’m going to be a star in a field of mediocre coffee makers! Haha. Love Des.

  3. Your new coffee making career sounds very exciting Des.
    My problem is that I have low bone density. I have been advised not to drink very much coffee as it will absorb the calcium.I take calcium tablets to help keep my bones strong. I have read so many contradictory articles that have left me confused.Some so called experts say that the caffeine in coffee decreases the calcium absorption and reduces bone mass. Others say if the coffee is made with all milk then the milk will replace the calcium .I wonder if you could have a word with Dr Bob please Des whilst he is teaching you the art of coffee making and see what his opinion is on calcium and coffee.

    • Pauline

      Yes, well you know he is not a doctor of medicine really, but he is very wise. He usually says that one really good cup of coffee in the morrning is all you need. Des. xx

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