EDITOR DES…SPORTS STAR

When I was very small I went to the Sydney Olympics and since then I have been a sportsman extraordinaire!  Mind you,  I do face  certain  physical ‘challenges’. I find it helps if I limber up with a bit of yoga before breakfast.

I like to let the blood drain to my brain!

I like to let the blood drain to my brain!

After that I eat my porridge and I go out into the garden for a bit of sun (vitamin D) , and I do some exercises. This part is a bit boring really. Let’s face it,  I just haven’t got the legs for it.

CAN'T SEEM TO RAISE MY LEGS LIKE THE WHITE LADY CAN!!

CAN’T SEEM TO RAISE MY LEGS LIKE THE WHITE LADY CAN!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

My guardian Pauline Conolly has not been much of role mode, although she did try boogie boarding  when she was younger. She claimed she hurt her shoulder like Greg Norman, and had to retire.  Well, sorry but her husband  Dr Bob told me that’s a lie. I found this photo in a box.

 

Honestly, who wears a wetsuit when the water is like bath water?

Honestly, who wears a wetsuit when the water is like bath water?

I enjoy most  water sports. I’m a pretty good diver and swimmer…. once I find the courage to plunge  in. Pauline’s only ‘memorable’ moment at her school swimming carnival was when she dropped a chocolate coated ice-cream in the pool. The sports mistress was very annoyed.

Ready..set....

Ready..set….

Golf?  Yes,  and my handicap is QUITE low. I play at Blackheath, and at Harleyford in England.

A teenage golfing marvel.

A teenage golfing marvel.

What a poser. And fancy wearing jeans! Circa 1980, before she gave up!

What a poser. And fancy wearing jeans! Circa 1980, before she gave up!

 

 

Pauline’s handicap is that she has no idea what she’s doing. Once when we were  up at Yamba she hit a kangaroo on the nose and it was only two metres away.   Worse still, she has no knowledge of golfing protocol.  When  Dr Bob carefully  marked his ball with a $2 coin before attempting a rare birdie, Pauline picked it up!!  Oh my word….I thought my guardians were going to get divorced and that  there would be a custody battle over me.

Dr Bob used to be a racing car driver in his spare time. Here he is at Brands Hatch in England.

Boy racer Dr Bob.

Boy racer Dr Bob.

I would like to do that too, but I don’t have a car just yet, only a very old bike. Hint hint.

I do tricks on  it and ride down steep places in the garden. I tried riding from the Blue Mountains to Sydney recently, but it started to rain. I had to come home when I got to the end of the drive.

Off to Sydney. If I'd had a raincoat I might have got further!!

Off to Sydney. If I’d had a raincoat I might have got further!!

WELL I HAVE AN AUTHOR PAGE AND YOU CAN PRESS ‘LIKE’ ON IT IF YOU LIKE…..IT’S HERE.

7 Comments
  1. Pauline

    Not a bad effort, Des. Although you did not ask permission to use the photographs of me. Plus…I really did injure my shoulder surfing. How would Dr Bob know?

  2. Oh! Des I think this is one of the best humorous articles you have written. The photographs you managed to find are price less. I would never have believed that your guardian would ever wear FLARES! and extra wide ones at that!
    I do hope she does not have them any more otherwise she might cut them up and make you some sporting outfits out of them .
    You live reasonably near the snow fields Des so perhaps skiing may be a good sport for you to take up. Keep up the exercising

    • Pauline

      Thank you my dear Godmother. Fortunately the flares have vanished, along with her purple hot pants Have I posted a pic of those? My writing is really improving I think. xxxxxxx

  3. Well apart from your disrespectful comments towards your guardians, I laughed all the way through this. Does Miss Pauline know you’ve been rifling through her old photos – and sharing secrets she may not want you to share with us?

    • Pauline

      Well she found out and threatened me re defamation and copyright breaches Marcia, but she’s all talk! Hahaha. Love, Des the Demon. xxx

      • Just you take care young Des. You’re sounding rather over confident these days, but you do know I hope that Pride comes before a Fall!

        • Pauline

          Yes well it’s hard not to be confident when you are special like me Marcia. But I feel I am QUITE modest. xxx DES

Leave a Reply

Time limit is exhausted. Please reload CAPTCHA.

Notification of new stories via Email

Enter your email address to receive notification of new stories on this website (your address will not be shown).

Search Pandora

Find us in the National Library of Australia's archive of Australian online publications in perpetuity.