Humour

HORROR STORIES AT MY MOTHER’S KNEE.

HORROR STORIES AT MY MOTHER'S KNEE.

Let me say at the outset that my darling mother was the most gentle, kind hearted person you could hope to meet.  However, she did have a penchant for filling our heads with the most terrifying information imaginable. We kids were both fascinated and appalled. Her stories

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PUT ON YOUR EASTER BONNET

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE,  FROM EDITOR DES Well, I read somewhere that lots of people eat fish on Good Friday, so I asked my guardian Pauline to make me a rod. I thought I knew where a rainbow trout might be lurking.  It was a bit hot  when

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EDITOR DES – BEAR OF UNBOUNDED TALENT

EDITOR DES - BEAR OF UNBOUNDED TALENT

INTRODUCING EDITOR DES OF BLACKHEATH Thanks for agreeing to this interview Editor Des.  I must say,  you are the personification of sartorial elegance today. A. Thank you. I bought this suit in a posh shop at Henley-on-Thames. Well that’s in England. It does look quite expensive.  Now

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CHRISTMAS IN THE AUSTRALIAN BUSH

CHRISTMAS IN THE AUSTRALIAN BUSH

‘Oh! All that steam! The pudding had just been taken out of the cauldron. Oh! That smell! The same as the one which prevailed on washing day. It is  that of the cloth which wraps the pudding.  Charles Dickens ‘A Christmas Carol’ Christmas in Australia is a

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The case of a misguided stamp investment.

The case of a misguided stamp investment.

AN EARLY STAMP OF STUPIDITY At the age of seven I decided to become a stamp collector. In a generous act of encouragement I was given a stamp album assembled over many years by an older cousin. I cut out the largest and most exotic of his

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NO FRENCH CONNECTION

NO  FRENCH CONNECTION

LAWS OF LINGUISTICS In Thomas Hardy’s Jude the Obscure,   chief protagonist Jude Fawley naively assumes  that learning a foreign language is like cracking a code; that mastering two or three words will miraculously provide the key to understanding the entire vocabulary.  Hardy refers to this as Grimm’s

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DEAR MISS ALL – CHILDHOOD ANGST

DEAR MISS ALL - CHILDHOOD ANGST

DAYDREAMS I was raised on a small dairy farm  near Ulverstone, on the north west coast of Tasmania. Many would consider this an idyllic childhood, and in retrospect   it was.  However, owing to a steady diet of American comic books I longed to be anywhere else but

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BARISTA EDITOR DES, THE NEW COFFEE KING

BARISTA EDITOR DES, THE NEW COFFEE KING

  You know what? Lately my editing hasn’t been going so well, because I missed a few errors in one of Pauline’s articles. I had to award the red tomato  trophy to myself, which wasn’t exactly  pleasant! The pay isn’t much good either. Hardly enough to keep

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BOTTOMS UP! HA HA!

BOTTOMS UP! HA HA!

Hello, well bottoms are very  funny, aren’t they?     Q.  WHAT HAS A BOTTOM AT THE TOP?  A.  MY LEGS!   That’s a joke I made up by myself.   I spend a lot of time with my bottom in the air. It’s so the blood can run 

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EDITOR DES…SPORTS STAR

EDITOR DES...SPORTS STAR

When I was very small I went to the Sydney Olympics and since then I have been a sportsman extraordinaire!  Mind you,  I do face  certain  physical ‘challenges’. I find it helps if I limber up with a bit of yoga before breakfast. After that I eat

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