A BIG DAY OUT …..by EDITOR DES
Well when we were in England last time, Dr Bob decided we would go to the cricket in LONDON. It was supposed to be a bonding session, as me and Pauline have had a few ‘issues’ lately (her fault, not mine). It was the Ladies Ashes one-day game….a very important event I believe. Here we are leaving on a beautiful summer’s day, from our nearest train station…Taplow in Buckinghamshire. They have a giant boot sale here, where Pauline threatens to sell me. Shes only joking of course, because I’m very special.
Dr Bob said we should walk to the famous Lords ground from Paddington Station, because Pauline needs lots of exercise ..ha ha. Halfway there she said she was tired and would cycle the rest on the way on a Boris Bike. But you had to put money in and she didn’t have any….what a shame!! I don’t walk anywhere much.
What a sight it is ….. that first view of the cricket ground. We were looking across to the old Victorian Pavilion. This is where the famous Long Room is. Pauline said she and Dr Bob went on a tour of it a few years ago, and the guide told them that the Australian cricketer Rodney Marsh once threw his cricket bat and smashed a glass showcase. Probably a horrible English lie.
Oh dear, by the time we took our seats Australia had lost two wickets already, for only twenty two runs. It was very disappointing. There was a tour group of Aussies behind us and in desperation they started that dreadful Oi Oi Oi chant. Pauline wanted to go home, but she started eating our picnic lunch, so that was good. Dr Bob had made it all, but don’t tell Pauline I revealed that. The herbed pork and apple sausages were very flavoury, I thought. They came from Oxford’s covered market.
We steadied the ship and got to 203 at the end of our 50 overs…. with two wickets in hand. Probably not enough, Dr Bob said. Pauline (as usual) started chatting to the English lady in front of us, who was an artist and sculptor. We gave her a bookmark and she said could she have some more please as all the ladies with her were from a walking group and might like to buy All Along the River : Tales From the Thames.
THE HALLOWED TURF
Dr Bob was very excited because the announcer said everyone could walk out onto the famous ground and ‘perambulate’ between innings. But he warned that if we perambulated onto the wicket we would be thrown out poste haste, whatever that means. Anyway, Pauline and I stayed put and ate more picnic lunch. Dr Bob enjoyed poncing about pretending he was a test player …he soon might be, the way our men players are going!
So then it was England’s turn and our bowlers bowled 14 wides in the first 20 runs. The very pro Pommy crowd started singing; ‘We’re going to win in extraaas! It was terrible. The Aussie tour group had disappeared so we had to bear the shame all by ourselves. There was a scruffy man near us who was supporting the English team very vocif….loudly. Pauline said she was tempted to tell him he should have combed his hair and beard when he got up. Oh my word, thank goodness she didn’t! It was all very tense and I certainly didn’t go to sleep on Pauline’s knees like I did at the Paul Getty cricket ground!!
They got to about 60 before losing a wicket, which we thought had probably cooked our goose. By the time we were finishing the last crumbs of our picnic they were up to 150! Dr Bob reckoned their run rate was a bit low though, so there was a glimmer of hope. AND THEN….Ha ha, it all started to go wrong for them and wickets began falling like drunken sailors. The scruffy loud man fell silent and in the wink of an eye it was….
ALL OUT for 176.
Well the elderly English artist lady was furious with her team. And I think I saw her rip our bookmarks into tiny pieces, but I didn’t tell Pauline. I posed for a show-off picture on the way out shouting; ‘We hit ’em for SIX!’….much to the annoyance of opposition passers by.
We were a very chirpy little trio and brimming with love for each other again, so the bonding plan worked well. Stopped for coffee at a hookah smoking cafe on Edgeware Road (Pauline used to work in this street when she was much younger, selling not very many Television sets.) A handsome young West Indian fellow wanted her to have a go with a hookah but she thought it might reignite her old addiction to nicotine, and politely declined. She gently told him it was unhealthy, but he said he always went to the sauna after smoking and that cleared his lungs….!!! ??I don’t smoke, well not very often, and I never inhale.
So here we are back at Paddington Station, where a distant cousin of mine from Peru was once abandoned. He became world famous in the end so I was temped to deliberately abandon myself! Couldn’t be bothered in the end though. It was a very lovely day out. Thank you Dr Bob. xxxx
NB – YOU CAN LEAVE A MESSAGE FOR ME, DR BOB, OR PAULINE IN THE COMMENT BOX BELOW. HOWEVER!…. YOU HAVE TO DO THE LITTLE SUM (BELOW THE BOX) BEFORE PRESSING THE ‘SUBMIT’ BUTTON OR IT WONT POST!!! SEE YOU NEXT TIME….EDITOR DES. X