SISTERS…THE SAME, BUT SO DIFFERENT 😎

During the formative years of one’s life there is no-one closer than an only sister who is around your own age.  My sister Robbie and I were born  just 16 months apart (I am the youngest) Until we were eight  or nine we even  slept in the same bed. We would stay awake as long as we could; playing, giggling  and talking, to the great annoyance of our parents. The  excitement and delight of waking together  on Christmas morning and Easter Sunday  are memories I will  treasure forever.

This is the earliest photo I can find of us. Good grief! I am the urchin on the left in the highly unladylike pose.😰  There was also a photo taken just before this (now lost)  in which Robbie is washing my face. My mother had told her to run inside and get the facecloth.

I think I’m very brave to publish this pic.

Oh my word, those years of shared childhood illness, anxieties, rivalries and interminable squabbles!

We  grew  up on a farm, which meant that outside of school we were often  each other’s sole playmate, roaming the bush and sharing the joy of nature. We also  both loved reading. During  Tasmania’s long winters we devoured not just children’s’ books but anything available, including  encyclopedias, newspapers, the  family Doctor’s Book, and a farming journal called The Weekly Times. I have often joked that we knew almost as much about both human and animal diseases as doctors and vets.

Inevitably, that old question of nature versus nurture arises in the development of character. I love the following quote by the American  journalist Elizabeth Fishel;

And in similar vein, although I am unable to identify the author;

‘Growing up in the same family with the same parents gives sisters mutual references during their courses of life. This not only creates identical aspects, but also contrasts between their personalities.

Sisters normally learn from each other’s lessons and decide to act like them or in the opposite direction. That’s to say, your sister is your most updated reference when you are looking for a view on your own personal identity….don’t let the differences separate you two and blur away your connection.’  (PixelQuote)

Fishel again;

That difference in  personality has always been  there in our case.  For me the ‘i’s have it… intense, inflexible,  introspective, and yes, a bit intolerant. Robbie is far more generous in spirit, more spontaneous  and less judgmental. You may think I’m being hard on myself, but fortunately there is an another ‘i’  on my list;  insightfulness.😎  And thankfully my inflexibility  is  leavened by creativity and insatiable  curiosity.

Overshadowing  all the  ‘opposites’ is a shared, quirky sense of humour and a love of nature inherited from our beloved mother. She was  such a blessing as we grew up,  despite the deep unhappiness of her own life that inevitably left a shadow.

Our mother Myra.

Here is a photo of Robbie and I as Brownies, taken circa 1958;

Those ties look a bit bulky. And who decided that posing under the rotary clothes line was a good idea?

At the beach.  Yes….cardigans often required in Tassie;

Oh those awful bubble bathers!

One of our brothers was not much older, but the relationship was  definitely not the same.

IN THE LUCERNE TREE WITH OUR BROTHER.

Once a week in high school  I virtually became my sister.  Robbie  had made an apron for cookery classes embroidered in large, red letters across the bib with  ROBYN. After she left school I wore it for two years, never having made one of my own. Sadly, Robbie’s  cooking talent did not transfer.

Here we are in 1967, emerging into womanhood. We look quite similar with our teased, bouffant hairdos. Oh dear, the hairspray we must have inhaled!  However, I was merely following Robbie’s lead.  My blonde sister was always more glamourous and more interested in fashion than me, and this has never changed. To be honest, I was not a very successful teenager. Old age suits me much better.  😍

The caring profession of nursing was a perfect fit for Robbie; in mothercraft, aged care and later  as a recreational therapist for dementia patients. I remember at one point she produced a little in-house magazine for elderly residents, recording their excursions. It was so heartwarming and funny.   (Our school essays had always been highly praised, as opposed to our marks in maths .😨)

We have both enjoyed happy marriages. Robbie  has two wonderful children and is an adoring grandmother. By contrast, my partner and I are childless by choice. My working life has been more varied; in libraries, as a vocational trainer and ultimately in research and writing.

Immersed in old journals in Scotland

Robbie eventually settled back in Tasmania, but travels a lot  around Australia.  I live in the NSW Blue Mountains, where I treasure my easy access to Sydney, though I now rarely venture any further.  As we have  aged and each  found our place in the world, sibling rivalries have long gone…. or have they? I may be trying to convince myself here. 😎

The memories of our childhood, both good and bad, are increasingly precious.

Inevitably, as with sisters in most families, we  share  emotional scars  and secrets  never to be divulged.  I suspect it is these  that  are the real basis of our  continued, almost indefinable bond.

Here is Robbie a couple of years ago adventuring in Tasmania, looking impossibly stylish even in winter hiking gear. She may also be found on a golf course 💛 I’m more likely to in the Friends Room at the Library of NSW, or enjoying my garden.

STILL LOOKING AMAZING

BLISS

SIBLINGS…NOT JUST SISTERS

Here is a collection of essays by Australian writers on the relationships between siblings. It was edited by the wonderful Charlotte Wood.

NOTE – since publishing this piece some  people have insisted they have  no similarities with their sister whatsoever, but there are often things you are not conscious of.  Apparently Robbie and I have many of the same mannerisms. And once, when  I was being interviewed on radio, my niece heard it and thought it was her mother speaking!

For more on the close, complex relationship between sisters CLICK HERE.