Brave New Look For Blackheath Loo

Editor Des!

 

In The Beginning

Yes, well Pauline thinks this touristy story is not very nice because it’s  mostly about ….a lavatory. But first  I have to give you a bit of background information. In 1985 the very  famous artist and fashion designer Jenny Kee, who lives in  Blackheath, designed a  mural on the wall of the Victory Theatre  Antiques Centre ( This is where Dr Bob says Pauline wastes a lot of her  time and  money..ha ha)

 Flora And Fauna

You can see  the mural  features  lots  of native plants and wildlife. I can see a kookaburra and a yellow tailed black cockatoo.  And there’s a  big heart because we  all love Blackheath even though we make jokes about it and call it Bleakheath!

Antiques Centre Mural, Blackheath

Anyway, someone has just painted the nearby  toilet block to match…well it  sort of  matches but there’s  lots of zig-zaggy shapes this time.

 

Front view of the jazzy loo.

 

I’m  not sure whether Ms Kee was the designer,  but she probably was because on the roof is a gum leaf and a grevillea leaf!  Oh yes, and a rope left behind by  the painter (RHS) !  Dr Bob wanted me to get it down but I said: ‘Why don’t you? That shut him up and as you can see, he didn’t bother!’

A gum and a grevillea leaf crown the revamped loos.

 

I suppose there will be letters of complaint in the Gazette because the painting is  a bit ‘out there’ but we believe in free expression, so that’s OK. We are very creative  and liberal in the Blue Mountains.  I copied that out of a tourist pamphlet.

Here’s  a wee lavatory  joke  (‘wee’..get it?) …it’s a teensy  bit rude but not very:

 Q. What did the toilet bowl say to the police man?

  A. I’ve seen a lot more bums than you!

  Mwah ha ha!!

By the way, if you go down to our magnificently special Rhododendron Gardens which are looking their best right now,  you might get a shock if  you need to visit  ‘Aunt Mary’ (that’s  what’s called a euphemism) because look  here…

 

An alarming sign for modest tourists!

 

Oh dear,…I hope they put some portable loos up by  next week for the big Rhodo Festival, which I’ll be reporting on.

Note from Pauline – Des is making a rather poor joke here. There are  definitely proper toilets in the Gardens  and visitors are NOT forced to go behind the bushes!  Plus, you can get delicious Devonshire teas in the pavilion, which is where my Garden Club meets on the first Thursday of each month.

Please let me know what you think about our new-look public toilets. I hope I didn’t upset anyone with my joke because I got into trouble recently for writing  about gum boils on bottoms. I  promised I would try not to re-offend, which I think I might have. Thank you, Editor Des.

UPDATE – HERE IS THE ONLY LETTER SO FAR IN THE GAZETTE (NOVEMBER 7 ) RE THE NEW-LOOK LOOS

CISTERN CHAPEL

‘I would sincerely  like to thank Jenny Kee and her band of enthusiastic volunteers for creatinga truly remarkable , designer label public convenience in the car park adjoining the New Ivanhoe Hotel in Blackheath.

Its completion in tine for the Rhododendron Festival  was a testament to the  organiser’s project management skills and with its artistically painted roof I suggest we refer to it in future as the Cistern Chapel.  John Whale, Blackheath.

 

 

11 Comments
  1. Hi Editor Des. I thought for a moment that you were going to talk dirty. Glad you’re not! The mural is lovely and colourful. I thought at first that it might make me feel a bit #*!`#*. But it’s fine. I’m 100% behind anything that features native art, plants and wildlife. Oh, I too can see a kookaburra. Well done Des. x

    • Thank you Ms Madalyn of England. I hope tourists from your country might come and see all our interesting plants and animals. It’s easy to jump over the spiders and snakes…that’s what I do even though I have very short legs!

      Puuline says If I mention the rude ‘B’ word in any more of my articles I will be sacked so I’m not going to!

      • Pauline

        I didn’t actually say you would be sacked Des, I said you would be demoted, that means you would be keeping my keyboard free of crumbs and tidying my pens instead of writing articles.
        By the way, do you think it is sensible to mention snakes and spiders when we are trying to encourage people to visit the beautiful Blue Mountains?

  2. Okay, Des. Let me say it for you. Pauline can’t sack me. Bum, boils, bottoms and backsides. Wo! How’s that? Err, one thing I have to pick you up on! How can you have Devonshire teas, delicious or otherwise, in Australia? I think your boss, Pauline, is losing the plot. Take care of those spiders, Des. A big smacker is winging its way from Blighty… x

    • Shhh, Madalyn!!! Oh my word…and I thought English people were very polite.

      Ha ha Pauline made a big blunder about those teas! I call them Strine Scone Scoffing platters and put lots of raspberry jam on my scones. I love jam.

  3. Des, I quite liked your joke but I cannot say the same about the new loos in Blackheath, they look horrible. Beautiful Blackheath is spoiled forever.
    I hope people will still go Blackheath to see the Rhododendrons and not the Blackheath Bogs.

    • Well, I’m very sorry you feel this way Vonnie. I will pass your feelings on to the Blue Mountains council but I fear it may be all too late. Is it worth you coming over and protesting do you think? Peacefully of course as I would not like to see you arrested!

      I’m not saying whether I like the paintings or not because I get into enough trouble already. And Pauline told me that editors have to be impartial.

  4. Love the art work but I might have to keep my legs crossed and hope for the best if I have to touch rhododendrons en route to the loo, as I’m very allergic to them.

    • Pauline

      Just as well you don’t live here Christine as Blackheath is the Rhodo capital, with a big festival celebrating them every spring.

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