HOW THE DRAMA BEGAN
Well one day I was sitting in a planter pot talking to Pauline’s little goose when we heard a funny noise. Goose peered down at something, so I did too. Whoops, nearly over-balanced and ended up on my head!
And do you know what? It was a bloomin’ Joe Blake!! That’s Aussie slang for SNAKE. And it was truly huuuge. It’s head had disappeared into the shrubbery. I yelled for my guardian Pauline to come, but she shouted back that she was busy writing (read playing on Facebook) and was sick of my nonsense!! For heavens sake!!! So I called to my girlfriend Millie and told her to run and get the hatchet for me. She was so scared her hair was standing on end (it’s always pretty messy but this was quite different.)
THE SERPENT SLAYER STRIKES
After a few big breaths to calm myself down I took aim at that snake, and I killed it in one almighty blow. Here is its horrible head that I chopped off! I might leave it on Paulines’s desk.
I suspect it was an Anaconda from South America How did it get here you ask? On the train Milly said (she can be very silly).
ALL A PIPE DREAM!
I was so brave and a bit proud of myself so I ran and told Pauline’s husband Dr Bob. WELL, I could hardly believe it, but he was furious with me. He said I’d ruined his special drain pipe….. A PIPE?? What sort of pipe has a wrinkly skin? Oh my word, I must have imagined that creepy head because I was so terrified. I said I was truly sorry; that it was a case of mistaken identity and that it was Milly who fetched the hatchet so it was half her fault. Of course it didn’t help, and Dr Bob confiscated my bike for a week. Let me just say that it’s not a good thing to leave me with nothing to do;