Well one day I was sitting in a planter pot talking to  Pauline’s  little goose when we heard a funny  noise.  Goose peered down at something, so I did too. Whoops, nearly over-balanced and ended up on my head!


What's down there?

What’s down there?

And do you know what?  It was a bloomin’  Joe Blake!!  That’s Aussie slang for SNAKE. And it was truly huuuge.  It’s head had disappeared into the shrubbery.  I yelled  for  my guardian Pauline  to come,  but she shouted back that  she was busy writing (read playing on Facebook) and was sick of my  nonsense!!    For heavens sake!!!  So I called to my girlfriend Millie and told her to run and get the hatchet for me. She was so scared her hair was standing on end (it’s always pretty messy but this was quite different.)

Heave-ho Milly!

Heave-ho Milly!



After a few big breaths to calm myself down I took aim at that snake, and  I killed it  in one almighty blow.  Here is its horrible head that I chopped off! I might leave it on Paulines’s desk.

snake head

I suspect it  was an Anaconda from South America  How did it get here you ask? On the train Milly said (she can be very silly).


Slaying the serpent!

Slaying the serpent!



I was so brave and a bit proud of myself so I ran and  told  Pauline’s husband Dr Bob. WELL, I could hardly believe it, but he was furious with me.  He said I’d ruined his special drain pipe…..  A PIPE??  What sort of pipe has a wrinkly skin?  Oh my word,  I must have imagined that creepy head because I was so terrified.  I said  I was truly  sorry; that  it was a case of mistaken identity and  that  it was Milly who fetched  the hatchet so it was half her fault. Of course it  didn’t help, and Dr Bob confiscated my bike for a week.  Let me just say that  it’s not a good thing to leave me with nothing to do;

Idle hands are the devil's tools!

Idle hands are the devil’s tools!

  1. Argghhh those bloomin’ Joe Blakes!
    Too cute!

    • Pauline

      Yes Dear Dawn. My life is full of hazards and sometimes my fears get the better of me! I act without duue thought Pauline says.

  2. Wow…I don’t blame you Des…I surely would have taken of his head too. An honest mistake. Hang in there, you will get your bike back before you know it.

    • Pauline

      I hope so Dear CJ because it’s stressful without it and I’m trying to stop smoking! Ed. Des. xxx

  3. Oh my goodness DES, you are just too funny, and yet in trouble again. Slaying a drain pipe was very brave of you though. LOL. But scaring Millie like that !! It will take ages for her hair to calm down. Do you think you could stay out of trouble for the remainder of the weekend?

  4. OOOh whoops but in your defence it really does look like a snake!!

    • Pauline

      YES IT DOES!! u can’t be too careful I reckon. Editor Des. xx

  5. Good on you Editor Des & Millie for saving the day. Surely it’s the pipe’s fault for looking so much like a snake 😉

    • Pauline

      Hello Melissa, Thank you for being so understanding. I thought Dr Bob was a bit unfair really, but I’ve got my bike back now!

  6. My Dear Godson

    I think you were very brave and it is nice to know that the age of chivalry is not dead. It could very easily have been a real snake and could have bitten both you and Millie. It certainly looked real to me.
    Please be extra careful Des as you do live in a dangerous bush area and I do worry about your safety. If ever you think you see a funnel web you crush it as well as it is far better to be safe than sorry.
    Your loving Godmother

    • Pauline

      Thank you my darling Godmother, I knew you would understand. I was protecting Pauline and Doctor Bob too, but it all backfired on me. Your loving Godson, Des. xxx

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