DANGER AT FORT X

Editor Des

Editor Des….that’s me.

Hello, I am very lucky to be alive and able to tell this story. The full details have never been revealed before. You are reading what is known in my profession as  A SCOOP!

Well down in the corner of our garden  in the Blue Mountains there is a little stone house that used to be called Frog Hollow.  It was always decorated with flowers. A friend of mine lived there and I loved visiting him. Unfortunately,  Hoppy had a life-changing accident and had to move closer to the village.

 

Frog Hollow and Editor Des

Hoppy kept a lovely home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyway, a few weeks ago some unknown ‘beings’ moved in and transformed the property into a sinister place called FORT X.  My guardian Pauline Conolly  told me to stay well away, but I just couldn’t.  One night I sneaked out and  rode down on my trike to investigate. You could say I’m a bit like  Detective Colombo, except I don’t wear a raincoat……only a jumper.

There was a sign on the  FORT X gate saying KEEP OUT, but I took a deep breath and went in. I am quite brave really.

 

I  waited until the sun rose, then peeped in the door. A sort of elfy person (yes, elfy, not healthy)  was holding a big  box. He took the lid off and I got such a shock at what was in there that I inadvertently  (good word eh?) whistled.

Editor Des at FORT X

Could hardly believe my eyes.

Next thing  someone whacked me from behind. CRACK! I was out like a light, Mate.

No idea how long I was unconscious. When  I finally woke up I couldn’t see or hear a thing, couldn’t move a muscle, and when I yelled  ‘ Help Pauline! ‘  it came out like  I’d whispered  ‘Elpleen ‘  with a mouth full of  cotton wool. Oh my word, I thought I was a goner!

Pretty soon things were crawling on me and biting me; ants and spiders I suppose. Extremely horrible.

Over the next couple of days I would feel vibrations as Pauline clumped past in her gumboots. I’d splutter out; ‘Elpleen!…. Elpleen!’   But she didn’t stop and ‘elp,  she just clumped on by. I cried a bit because I was so hungry and my head hurt. Also, it was going to my 18th birthday  very soon and what if I died and missed the big day?

SALVATION

Finally,  early on the third morning I heard that familiar clump clump and before I could mumble anything at all I heard Pauline shouting…‘DES!! WHAT ON EARTH….’   Guess what? I’d been tied to a tree with a black stocking over my head. Can you believe it?

Editor Des tied to a tree

OH NO!!

It was such a relief to be rescued that I didn’t even mind being told off. Had to spend a couple of days in bed because I had concush…. concusion and  a gash on my head.

Editor Des in bed

Sick and sorry.

Here’s  why I couldn’t speak properly when I was tied to the tree.. My assailant  had squashed a note in my mouth and it said; ‘ Tell anyone what was in that box and  you’re as good as dead, you fat  fur ball.’

What a load of  rubbish. I’m not even fat!  Do you know what was in it?  Three black and gold ……

YOU CAN LEAVE ME A MESSAGE OF SYMPATHY AND SUPPORT IF YOU LIKE. AND A BIRTHDAY WISH. HA HA. I’LL BE ABLE TO DRINK AND VOTE. PAULINE SAYS I’M NOT MATURE ENOUGH TO VOTE, BUT I AM. I DON’T THINK SHE IS THOUGH.

 

4 Comments
  1. Happy birthday, Editor Des. I see where in bear’s years you’ve definitely reached retirement. Maybe a sip of a hot toddy nightly will help you regain some of your equilibrium after such a horrifying experience at FortX. However, I think there is an important lesson to be learned when anyone ignores precise instructions about trespassing. It used to be such a gorgeous little fairy and elfin spot that I can imagine those who aren’t supposed to be there were carried away with wanting to claim it. I love the spring flowers. You’ll have to set up a hidden camera and see if the fairies that used to own that little glen ever come out to play of an evening.

    • Pauline

      Thank you Heather, I have passed on your good wishes. He has learned a hard lesson about blundering in when warned not to.

  2. Happy Birthday Des. What an inspiration you are to us lesser human beings. A true hero who did not give up under terrible circumstances.
    You are safely home now, Make sure Pauline treats you like the brave warrior you are!
    Have an awesome year with some adventures but not too frightening.
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY
    Love
    Alison and travelling bear who cant be foundat the moment xx

    • Pauline

      Des says thank you very much, Alison. He knows you have been a bit poorly too, so he appreciates you going to this trouble. xx

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