Revenge on ‘Bad Santa’ by Editor Des. Warning, there is a degree of violence depicted in this story.
Every Christmas there is a confrontation at our Blue Mountains home between an elderly, battery powered walking Santa and my young associate Editor Des. Santa marches straight up to Des and pummels him with his brass bell. It’s not a pretty sight, although I suspect Des’s friend Milly secretly enjoys the ongoing battle.
The old one-two!
Oh dear, a well aimed right jab to the jaw. No doubt someone’s head was ringing louder than the brass bell. 😎
Whack!
Poor Desmond always ends up ‘out for the count’.
Of course this is why the poor fellow has a unique and literal interpretation of Boxing Day.
The trouble is that Christmas just rolls around again. Out will come Santa, marching across the carpet, ringing that wretched bell and ready to resume the old fight. Clearly something had to be done and one of my Christmas gifts inspired him to contemplate the unthinkable.
A PERMANENT SOLUTION TO THE ‘BAD SANTA’ ISSUE?
Des climbed the stairs to the study… not an easy feat with his short legs…where he found a couple of likely weapons. One was a lethal, Middle Eastern dagger dating from WWII. Unfortunately using that could be very messy. Also, there was a small caliber bullet. But what to fire it with? There was no sign of a pistol or any other firearm. Perhaps he could fashion a blow pipe, but to expel a bullet with enough force to do any damage was a ridiculous notion. 😰
After some thought another idea occurred to Des. A threat could be as effective as actual violence. As the old saying goes, ‘the pen is mightier than the sword‘…, or the dagger for that matter. And how appropriate for Editor Des, who makes a living (well sort of) with words. No Desmond, it wasn’t Shakespeare who coined the expression, it was English author Edward Bulwer Lytton.
Avoid Acer Corner, Blackheath at all cost Mr Claus.
We will have to wait until Christmas 2025 to discover whether or not Bad Santa has been vanquished by an angry and humiliated bear. Meanwhile, HAPPY NEW YEAR. 🥰
CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS OF THE ORIGINAL BAD SANTA
