BARISTA EDITOR DES, BLACKHEATH’S NEW COFFEE KING?

You know what? Lately my editing hasn’t been going so well, because I missed a few errors in one of my employer Pauline Conolly’s articles. In my defense, she does make a lot of typos. The pay isn’t much good either. Hardly enough to keep a person in smokes. Not that  I DO smoke anymore, but if I wanted to. 

A NEW DIRECTION

So anyway,  I have been considering a new career….. in the wonderful  world  of  COFFEE.  I carnt, sorry can’t start the day without my short black espresso.

Anyway, my guardian Dr Bob has agreed to teach me, because he is a bit of an expert. Pauline calls him a coffee snob, but that was when she could pop out to a café any old time. Now she is in self-isolation she is a bit more appreciative of his efforts. Don’t you hate people like that?

His own coffee machine is nearly as big as our  little house at Blackheath!

In our new ‘big house’ he has designed a coffee serving bench, with a special sink below. That’s dedication/obsession!

Well he told me that  the  most important thing is to have freshly roasted coffee beans, and that  it’s best to grind them up yourself.  Plus….you have to keep the air out  of the packet. Oxygen is the enemy of coffee,  just as smoking  is the enemy of health (an old, wise proverb from the Blue  Mountains). So whether it’s beans or already ground up coffee, keep that packet cool and  sealed.   Quite complicated eh?

But for me, the hardest bit is making pictures in the froth (crema it’s called)   People expect bloomin’ works of art, even in our  little  village!  A bear will be my signature image (natch!) , when I master it. Having trouble with the ears at the mo.

I found an old shingle to hang up….. going to pretend I’m a bit French. Well I just  might be cherie, my ancestry is mired in mystery.

Pauline has never worked out  how to use the coffee machine.

OK, she did try once, but  there was a disaster and  we had to clean  coffee grounds off the ceiling and between the floorboards.

When  Dr Bob is away she  makes tea.  How pathetic is that? Bwahaha.  But I digress.

After my expertise  reaches an acceptable level  Dr Bob is going to buy me a mobile coffee shop. As you can see in the picture below, it has a little home for me as well,  which is good, because when the pandemic is over I will be going on the road. It will be a big adventure.  My girlfriend  Milly would like to come too,  but she would be a distraction.  Pauline seems quite pleased about the whole idea. I thought she would miss me dreadfully  but…..

I may not know how to make the perfect double shot, extra hot, skinny latte just  yet, but I have consumed coffee all around the world and I’m an aficionado  just like Dr Bob!  That really just  means we truly are coffee snobs, hahaha.

So how do you think I’ll get on in my new profession? Will I be able to throw away my red editor’s pen??  Let me know what you think.

UPDATE – Look, I made an Easter fish for Good Friday, That’s progress!

And here is an Easter rabbit. OK, Dr Bob made it, but it was my idea.

HAVE A LOVELY HOLIDAY …… AT HOME!