Hello, well bottoms are very funny, aren’t they? Q. WHAT HAS A BOTTOM AT THE TOP? A. MY LEGS! That’s a joke I made up by myself. We have all been talking about our bums lately haven’t we, what with the mysterious shortage of loo paper.
I spend a lot of time with my bottom in the air. It’s so the blood can run down into my brain and make me smarter! My guardian Dr Bob suggested I do it and I really think it’s working. I now know how to divide and multiply……in a fashion. You might say it all adds up!
Over on the right are some cheeky (get it?) peachy bottoms from Japan. I’m buying some for Dr Bob for his birthday.
Well bottoms are not so funny if you sit on a BEE….I had to use an air cushion for days after one stung me in the lavender bushes! It was my employer Pauline Conolly’s fault…she told me to sit down and smell the flowers. And sadly, I did.
I did get my revenge though . I sneaked up one day when we were at the BOT -anical gardens in Sydney and got this wonderful shot;
Bwahaha! I bet she wishes her botty looked more like this. It’s really a scribbly gum. It had some unfortunate gum boils higher up, so I had to crop the pic!
Do you know the stories of the gumnuts by the Australian writer May Gibbs? Her dear little gumnuts had bare bottoms. I used a funny picture of them for my Christmas card lasy year, but Pauline said it was unsuitable and made me put it in the rubbish tin.
What a damn shame!
Q. WHAT DO YOU TAKE THE TOP OFF TO TO PUT THE BOTTOM ON, AND THE BOTTOM OFF TO PUT THE TOP ON? A. THE TOILET!
And while I’m indulging in lavatory humour, once Pauline’s Dad had to make a toilet for workers picking beans on his farm . He built it in a hollow tree. It must have looked a bit like this; a Lavertree!
Goodbye, I think I’ve scraped the BOTTOM of the barrel!!
I PROMISED PAULINE I WOULDN’T PUBLISH THIS RUDE STORY BECAUSE IT LOWERS THE TONE OF THE WEBSITE, AND THE NATIONAL LIBRARY ARE ARCHIVING IT. WELL THEY WERE!! Ha ha!