BOTTOMS UP! HA HA!

Hello, well bottoms are very  funny, aren’t they?     Q.  WHAT HAS A BOTTOM AT THE TOP?  A.  MY LEGS!   That’s a joke I made up by myself.

 

Head down, bottom up!

Head down, bottom up!

I spend a lot of time with my bottom in the air. It’s so the blood can run  down into my brain and make me smarter! My guardian Dr Bob suggested I do it and I really think it’s working! I now know how to divide and multiply and how (mostly) not to blow up things in the microwave.

Over on the right are  some cheeky (get it?) peachy bottoms from Japan. I’m buying some for Dr Bob for his birthday.

Peachy Bottoms

Peachy Bottoms

 

 

 

 

 

Well bottoms are  not so funny if you sit on a BEE….I had to  use an air cushion for days  after one stung me in the lavender bushes! It was my employer Pauline Conolly’s fault…she told me to sit down and smell the flowers. And sadly, I did.

Oh dear!

Oh dear!

I did get my revenge though . I sneaked up one day when we were at the BOT -anical gardens in Sydney and got this wonderful shot;

The biggest bottom in the world belongs to Pauline Conolly!

The biggest bottom in the world belongs to Pauline Conolly!

Bwahaha!  I bet she wishes her botty looked more like this. It’s really a scribbly gum. It had some unfortunate gum boils higher up, so I had to crop the pic!

 

Very svelte!

Very svelte!

Do you know the stories of the gumnuts by the Australian writer May Gibbs? Her dear  little gumnuts had bare bottoms. I used a funny picture of them for my Christmas card this year, but Pauline said it was unsuitable and made me put it in the rubbish tin.

merry-christmas-love-o0jr8c

What a damn shame!

 Q. WHAT DO YOU TAKE THE TOP  OFF TO TO PUT THE BOTTOM ON, AND THE BOTTOM OFF TO PUT THE  TOP ON?  A. THE TOILET!

And while I’m indulging in  lavatory humour,  once Pauline’s Dad had to make a toilet for workers picking beans on his farm . He built it  in a hollow  tree. It must have looked a bit like this; a Lavatree!

Loo in a tree!

Loo in a tree!

Goodbye, I think I’ve scraped the  BOTTOM of the barrel!!

I thought I saw a dollar in here!

I thought I saw a dollar in here!

 

 

 

 

I PROMISED  PAULINE  I WOULDN’T PUBLISH THIS RUDE STORY BECAUSE IT LOWERS THE TONE OF THE WEBSITE, AND THE NATIONAL LIBRARY ARE ARCHIVING IT. WELL THEY WERE!! Ha ha!

 

8 Comments
  1. Thanks for the chuckle to cheer up this chilly morning. First frost of the year 🙂

    • Pauline

      I told Des not to publish this but he wouldn’t listen!

  2. Thanks for the giggle. I must show this to my boys, they love bottom jokes.

    • Pauline

      And as you can see Melissa, so does Editor Des!

      Yes, I do. I told Pauline other people would! haha….Editor Des. xxx

  3. Why Editor Des you do seem a bit preoccupied with bottoms. You might want to speak a therapist. I heard they are good at getting to the bottom of your problem.

    • Pauline

      Haha, that’s very witty Nancy. I went to a therapist once and he said if I wasn’t careful I could fall into a bottom-less pit!! Love…Editor Des.

  4. The humour of my boys was very lavatorial when they were teenagers too. Thankfully, they (mostly) grew out of it although I do occasionally get saucy rude birthday cards, sent because they say ‘they know I’ll laugh’. I can’t imagine what they mean!

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