A story from Editor Des of Blackheath, Blue Mountains….formerly from China.

Editor Des
Me….Desmond Conolly

Hello, well bears famously know quite a lot about porridge, and I am no exception.

WHO SCOFFED MY PORRIDGE??

However, at our house I defer to Dr Bob. He is what some people (possibly called Pauline) might view as an irritating expert.

Dr Bob gets up at 5.30 every morning and makes tea and porridge and coffee. For this we are all very extremely delighted; extra, extra appreciative, and also most grateful and thankful. EXCEPT…I like to hibernate in winter!

Dr Bob the porridge & coffee maker.
DR BOB — PROVIDER OF PERFECT PORRIDGE, COFFEE AND MUCH ELSE IN LIFE.

Now first up, all the utensils and ingredients etc must be assembled the night before. And the kettle filled ready to boil for tea.

He is especially strict obout spoon size. In his opinion the dessertspoon spoon on the far left is slightly too large for still sleepy mouths to cope with. He and Pauline use the next two in the line. Then comes my own, which is slightly smaller than a normal teaspoon. Last is my girlfriend Milly’s, for when she stays over. She has a tiny, rosebud mouth.

Porridge spoons.

Next are the special bowls. The yellow one can only be used by Pauline and the red one by Bob. No other size will do. Woe betide us if we put left-overs in one of these bowls, thus making them unavailable for porridge. Why don’t we just buy more? I have no idea. My own bowl is smaller, in proportion to my size.

Well the porridge is rolled oats with blueberries and prunes and stewed apple, cooked in water with a little milk. More warm milk is poured on top, but only for me and Pauline. At Christmas and New Year there may be mango and other tropical delights. Pauline stews the apple…..that is one of her few responsibilities in life. The prunes are supposed to be stoneless, but Dr Bob carefully cuts them up just in case. We don’t want a $100,000 dental bill!!

Birthdays warrant special porridge too.

Birthday porridge with mango.
OH MY HAT(S) I THINK THAT’S MANGO!

Pauline often takes her porridge outside to finish while she does her Matron’s rounds of the garden. Sometimes she starts weeding or deadheading and leaves the empty bowl any old place. This is almost a capital offence if it is not returned before the breakfast hour.

Editor Des finds an empty porridge bowl in the garden.
OH DEAR, I SUPPOSE I’D BETTER TAKE IT BACK FOR HER

She says her stewed apple (plus Bob’s porridge) is good for the brain, and that I should eat more of it. But do you know what? My ideas are already better than hers.

Porridge is good for the brain!
PORRIDGE PROVIDES INSPIRATION FOR PAULINE

I did put up a photo of Pauline eating her porridge, but she made me delete it because she didn’t have her lipstick on. Or her earrings.

Quite frankly, the best thing about breakfast porridge is what comes after it ……….COFFEE! Dear me, don’t even start me on Dr Bob and the perfect cup of coffee.

Editor Des with coffee after his porridge.
I CAN’T START THE DAY WITHOUT BOB’S SHORT BLACK…

NOTE – ONCE PAULINE HAD A JOB AS DOWNSTAIRS MAID IN A SCOTTISH HOTEL AND SHE HAD TO WASH ALL THE PORRIDGE POTS BY HERSELF. HAHAHA!

Another story relating to this, not as good as mine of course. OVERDOSING ON BREAKFAST

Leave a Reply

Time limit is exhausted. Please reload CAPTCHA.