Hello, Editor Des here.
I have to be very brave about writing this, because I am still a bit traumatized.
Well I went to Sydney with my guardian Pauline Conolly this week week. She wanted to do a bit of shopping and other stuff at the big Library in Macquarie Street.
We stayed at a hotel in the city….all very nice. I ordered dinner from room service; five iced, cinnamon buns. Here I am on the third one;
Next morning we went out for breakfast at a café near the old Sydney Hospital. I noticed that Pauline was looking at a reflection of a man on her computer screen. Hmm, she seemed a bit………concerned.
And then she said…..Desmond (that full name means trouble) have you done anything wrong lately. I mean really wrong??
‘Wot Me? No!! ‘
‘Well, don’t look now, but you seem to be, umm, how can I put this….… under surveillance. There are three policemen behind you and one is staring at you with a very nasty look.’
I felt really sick, because actually I have done a lot of things wrong, much wronger than the things Pauline knows about. Not in Sydney though, only at home in the Blue Mountains. I’m pretty well behaved in the big smoke. Everything got worse when they they came over and told me I was on their ‘wanted’ list. I tried to tell them that couldn’t be right, but they wouldn’t listen.
So next minute I was in cuffs! Can you believe it? Yes, under arrest. They took me down to the police station at The Rocks to be interag..interr…. asked questions. They said I looked suspiciously like a bear who had robbed a bank in George Street at gun point. His picture was on a poster, but honestly he looked nothing like me. OK, similar nose and figure.
‘ Maybe you don’t look so similar now, but anyone can change their appearance’, they said. ‘Fur dye, different clothes etc. We’re pretty sure you’re the bear we’re after.’
They said I’d be held ‘on remand’, whatever that means.
And then Pauline asked them what day the robbery was and they said it was September 6th. ‘Oh, well’, Pauline said, ‘Editor Des was with me in Singleton that day, so it couldn’t have been him.’
And do you know what? She had a photo on her laptop to prove it, date on it and all. She’s a bloomin’ star that woman. There I was with Singleton born Anzac Ted. You might say he was my alibi.
Well, they had to apologize and let me go. I might claim compensation. It’s all very well for this copper to smile, but the whole bungle will likely scar me for life.
Pauline said let it be a lesson , because it’s a miracle I haven’t been arrested in the village where I live. What a lot of nonsense. The local Mr Plod and I have ‘an understanding’ as they say. Wink, wink…say no more.